Monday, July 28, 2014

Rebuilder's Manual

Rebuilding Manual

Step 1. Put out any fires that are still burning
Step 2. Practice forgiveness as the key to allow forward movement.
Step 3. Allow for new possibilities without the story of the past to jade the future.

Whew! I’ve come home from my retreat to Greece and my following honeymoon with a lot on my mind. I’m coming home feeling like I am truly being reinvented. It feels really, really fresh, like I’m still sitting on the neighbor’s lawn, my face black with smoke and soot, my old house just burned down. In fact, the house is still smoldering and smoking but that old thing, that old life, old bachelorness, that old business, was razed. To. The. Ground. There is only one, exciting thing left to do and that is build a new life forward. And while this is scary, I feel like I’ve got a lot of possibility to mold the future.

The Shivanataraj is the statue you often seen in a yoga context. It’s a depiction of the Dancing Shiva and process, one that will probably happen several times in my lifetime. I guess this makes me feel better, like all of this is expected. The Shivanataraj statue shows Shiva’s many arms and legs gesturing in the dance of all this continuous change while wreathed in flames. I think Shiva was the original Burner. And despite all the craziness, despite the all the change, despite the fact that Shiva’s hair is on fire, Shiva’s gaze is calm, steady, forward. Shiva even has a calm little smile on his face like this is just another day in the burning universe.
represents the male/female creator of the universe in the dance of birth, sustaining, death, disillusion, and ultimate rebirth . . . over and over and over again. This statue teaches me that I’m involved in a

So, in a meditation recently I received some divine guidance, instruction that seems absolutely perfect for me in my life, like a manual to start to rebuild. First, I need to acknowledge what’s happened, good and bad, put out some of those cinders that are still burning. Next, I learned that in order to move forward, I have to take a good hard look at where I might be holding onto anger, resentment, fears, and grief and practice forgiveness. Finally, I’ve got to allow for new birth and not allow the past to impede the possibilities that are already starting to bud.

That’s my list. What’s yours? Cuz really we are all somewhere in this process of birth, sustaining, death, disillusion, and rebirth. What are the things you need to do, need to avoid, need to plan for in this life that is burning in this moment.?

And finally, while our universe is spinning and we are all dancing around with our hair on fire, may we keep our steady gaze forward, centered in our most divine Self and the Divine, whatever form that may take for you.

This weekend I’m in Lander Wyoming for a weekend of workshops. Join me! We will road trip, it’ll be fun. I’m starting at Centered City Yoga with my regular schedule starting Monday, August 4th. I’ll be at a wedding for a dear friend Monday evening but you can catch my 6 am class on August 4th! Best time of the day to practice, I tell you what.

Thanks all. It feels great to be back!


Monday, June 30, 2014

A New Era

These past few weeks have been all over the place for me. It’s been a practice for me to stay centered when so many things are changing in my life. I think it’s easy to identify with the thing you do (read: teaching yoga) and when that changes, even just then venue, it becomes quite humbling. I like the word humble because the root of the word refers to returning to the dust of the earth, back to your roots. I’m experiencing a wonderful opportunity to reinvent myself in some crucial, important, and exciting ways. 

Last year, when I planned my yoga retreat to Greece, I leave this week, I scarcely could have picked a better time to get away and take some time to air out the mind and soul. Little did I know last year, what would be transpiring this year with the closure of my studios and a new marriage and wow, how things can change in a year! I’m planning on a few weeks to allow the practice of meditation, yoga, stories and myth, and a heap of sunshine, to work its wonders on my soul. Did I mention that I’ll be on my honeymoon soon after the retreat? There’s nothing like love to put what matters most front and center in your life.
So yeah, I’m co-hosting this trip to Greece with my dear friend Kim Dastrup, but I’m expecting that the practices and teaching will offer me great insight into what the next era looks like for me. 

I want to share this retreat with you (sorry, the honeymoon is private J). I’ll keep you joyously involved by including in my weekly newsletter, a message regarding some of the themes and photos as they happen on Facebook and Instagram and the like. Please join me! Join me as we visit the ancient cities of Greece and through practice, mediation, and a study of history, apply that crucial motto that spoke to Socrates on the plaque above the temple to the Oracle at Delphi: Know Thyself. I encourage your insight and feedback so others can benefit from your experience, knowledge and insight as you interpret the messages based on your life. And if it didn’t work out for you to come with us this year, start thinking about it for next year. 

I’ll be back toward the end of July and I’ll be teaching a weekend workshop in Lander Wyoming at Ananda Yoga August 1-3. Join me. I’ll be starting classes with full gusto on the week of August 10th at Centered City Yoga. I’m really excited about my future and the new life that is starting to sprout in my own body/mind/spirit.


Tuesday, May 27, 2014

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times.

Chuck Dickens really knew what he was talking about. My business is folding. That’s a mess. I’m going to be married to the most wonderful woman in the world in about three weeks. That’s bliss. I feel like at any time I should be hearing the announcement, “Please keep your arms and legs in the ride at all times.”

It’s times like these that I gotta remember to keep my center, that my daily practice is critical. I also need to remember that it’s part of the practice to fall out of the pose once in a while, whether the pose is tree pose or running a biz pose. Like Leonard Cohen says, “there’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Nothing has to be perfect. I gotta breathe and keep my center through it all, the bliss and the mess.

It’s nice to remember that even though things are really crazy, part of the practice is to take care of myself in little ways like going to a yoga class, going on a run, or going on a walk with my love in the twilight.

Thanks to so many wonderful friends and students, to all of you, who have wished us all well during this transition. I am very moved by all of your kindness.

Here’s to another week!

I'm still available to teach private sessions, Girl's Nights Out, and corporate gigs. I'm even doing a few Skype sessions of both Yoga Nidra and Asana. Things aren't so crazy that I don't have some time to do what I love the most, teach yoga.  Contact me if you want to set something up.


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain

Master teacher and author Donna Farhi wrote in her book, Bringing Yoga to Life: The Everyday Practice of Enlightened Living: "One of the most devastating consequences of skewed perception is the longing that grows in us for someone to see us as we really are. We long to have someone, somewhere, even for a moment, really see us. When someone sees the "us" that is our essence, we say that we feel loved. My teacher taught that the primary thing to learn is how to be this loving, accepting presence. . . . When this longing to be seen by another is great, we become susceptible to chronic manipulation of our image. We may continually rearrange and reinvent ourselves in the hope that this new rendition will please our audience. Instead of being present, we perform." (pp. 179-80)

The Poet David Whyte says, "To be constantly explaining who you are is a gospel of despair." He further invites us to simply be ourselves and in so doing give permission to all around us to do likewise.

In yoga, we practice self-witnessing as we breathe, move through poses, and meditate. Without this self-witness, you can't see the true you. No amount of others seeing or perceiving you will supplement for a lack of knowing yourself. It's the paradox of rock stars feeling so lonely. Like a friend told me recently, it's as if in our quest to experience and really discover/remember who we are, we feel like being seen by others is synonymous to being. If people are seeing me, it gives the false confidence that there must be something there to see, right? But being witnessed isn't witnessing. Yoga philosophy suggests that who we are fundamentally is the ability to truly witness ourselves and everything around us.

I know what you're saying, "Thanks, Mr. Oblique Yoga Philosophy Guy. That's some awesome yoga thought but give me some real-life ways to relate that to getting up in the morning and facing another day of work and family and the every-day." Well, the easiest way to apply this is to just pay attention to your life. What does it feel like to sit in a warm shower and let the water flow over your skin? What do the blossoms smell like when you walk down the sidewalk? What does your breakfast taste like? What does it feel like when your boss walks by? Yoga practice is simply a condensed and refined way of paying close attention. Besides yoga makes us feel great, helps us have a healthy body, calm mind, and open heart. Here's the deal: once we start practicing this self-witnessing business in yoga, we won't stop at Namaste. We'll be feeling our hamstrings in practice one night, and wake up extremely aware of the way the shower feels or maybe start to see the deep feelings in your heart. These are the most real ways of just being. The deeper we pay attention, the more we notice what's behind the surface, what's animating the outer form, what's sensing, what's seeing. Eventually, with practice, we become more and more familiar with this Inner Self. What's amazing is how this knowledge of Inner Self gives us amazing confidence to just be. We stop trying to produce the image of ourselves, and we just be ourselves.

It reminds me of tales of Mark Twain giving lectures back in the day. He would walk out on stage in front of a packed theater and just stand there looking at the audience. The crowd would applause, would eventually quiet down and wait silently for him to talk. Instead of saying anything, he would just stand there and stare back to them, like he was staring down the entire audience. The tension in the room would begin to build second by second as he just stood there looking back at them all. One man looking at thousands. He didn't have to perform. He didn't have to say anything. He was Mark-Freekin'-Twain! Finally, when the tension became almost unbearable, he could say one word and have the entire audience in his hands because he was completely real.

Writers, poets, yogis all have this one crucial thing in common: they all pay very close attention themselves and the world around them.

I'll see you in class and we'll practice some of this self-witnessing. Maybe this is what John Lennon meant by "let it be."


Monday, March 31, 2014

Understanding Coltrane

I love jazz. I love Jazz because it is a language. It speaks to a culture, a sophisticated musical discipline, and a style. For the longest time, I wanted to like jazz music but didn't. Not much of it, anyway. I liked Kenny G. The first time I heard John Coltrane, all I heard was chaotic lines of complex notes hurled out the tail end of a tenor saxophone. But now, when I hear John Coltrane, I can't keep up a conversation with anyone else because of the conversation I'm having with the music. So, what's changed?

In part, I believe it was because I started to learn to play the sax. I'd always wanted to play the sax. When I was a kid, my dad asked his uncle Lester, a professional sax player, what it would take to help me appreciate playing the sax. Lester told him to start me on the piano, move to the clarinet, and then to the sax. That way I would have the rudiments of music woodwind instruments to spring me forward as I started to play the sax. I never really met Lester. There exists a sun-bleached photo of me and my entire family posing for the camera on his back porch but this was before dawn of my consciousness-I was about three and don't remember it at all. Well, Lester died. And nobody remembers exactly how, nobody remembers doing it, but somehow his horns showed up on my doorstep with my name on them. I was 13. I'd been playing the clarinet for 2 years and I was itching to start the sax. Problem was, I didn't have one. Not until that day when Lester's horns, (yep, he gave me not one but TWO saxophones, an alto and a tenor AND a clarinet) showed up thanks to a mystery and the US postal service. I scarcely remember a more exciting or more reverent day of my life than when I received those horns. They are the saxes I still play today. That day, I remember feeling like something very important had just happened to my life.

That summer, I started to blow through the horns and figured out how to finger the notes and make a decent sound before any teacher got to me. Lester was right and the clarinet and piano had paid off. As I continued to learn to play the sax, I began to learn to play jazz. And with just a little bit of experience of trying to play jazz, I began to appreciate listening to jazz. Not long after that, I loved it. With a little experience of jazz, the music meant something to me; I could understand the sounds I heard as emotions and experiences. I can hear intervals between notes, feel chord changes come and go and understand and appreciate the inherent tension and release of jazz. More than that heady stuff though, I can sit back and feel the groove and swing of it, I can feel the flavor and texture of it. I can appreciate the personalities behind the music. For me, when you're invited to see the bigger picture, I can savor the individual parts better.

This is often what happens when we begin to understand and appreciate the underlying form of almost anything be it jazz or yoga. A yoga asana is beautiful on the outside but understanding the underlying form-the mechanics of muscles, bones and even subtleties like energy and intention-makes the posture understandable, enjoyable and enlightening. Yoga is about understanding oneself deeper. Any deeper look inward, even just at anatomy, fulfills the ends of yoga.

The underlying form expresses itself clearly in the outerlying form in our yoga postures: slumped shoulders might manifest for the depressed or burdened or shy, broad shoulders for the confident, open-hearted, and gregarious. As a teacher, I can't read your mind, can't feel your soul, but I can see how your consciousness produces the product of a very engaged outer form. So in that sense, I often know whether your mind is present by how your poses look. The outerlying form reflects the under.

Of course the underlying and outer lying forms are inseparable. You can't have the pose without the energy or thought or emotion behind it, you can't have jazz without its history and culture, you can't have the blues, without feeling blue. So really what this means is to learn to see the whole picture is attuning our senses to the specifics and intricacies of a sophistication of seeing all the parts. We engage on a deeper level. It makes the practice of jazz or yoga so rich. By understanding the underlying form, we might acquire a taste for more complex things like deeper poses, meditation, Coltrane or dark chocolate. And soon we might begin to understand a little about the underlying form of all things and learn to see that with increased flavor and appreciation.
So maybe, years later, because I've learned a little about the underlying form of jazz, for my buck I'd choose John Coltrane over Kenny G, though I still understand Kenny G's technical proficiency and his beautifully clear and distinct sound. Come to practice this week and let's focus on understanding ourselves by looking at underlying form both in practical, anatomical ways as well as conscious, meditative ways.

Join me this Friday night at yoga then come and join me at the Bayou where my band, Jazz Brulee, will most surely play at least a few Coltrane tunes. Until then, if you're interested click here to hear John Coltrane play Blue Trane, in my opinion one of the best sax solos in all of jazz.


Monday, March 24, 2014

Ganesh: Guardian of the Temple

Om Gam Ganapataye Namah 

This is the chant to Ganesh, the mythical figure in Hindu iconography who represents the remover of obstacles, the gatekeeper between the earthly world and the spiritual world. Here is one version of his story. 

According the Hindu mythos, Siva and Shakti represent the primordial male and female entities of the universe, the creator and mother of the universe. They are represented by the familiar eastern symbol, the yin and yang. In this symbol, the dark side represents the female aspect of the universe (not necessarily gender), embodiment, cool, dark, and movement. The light side represents the male aspect, energy, spirit, warmth, and awareness.   

Early in the history of this myth, Siva was often away from Shakti as he attended to the responsibilities of ruling the universe. As happens with all newlyweds, eventually the honeymoon period seemed to be over between the two of them. Often, Siva would return home from his responsibilities of creating the universe and without much sensitivity, he felt entitled to Shakti's bed chamber. Shiva only craved the physical and Shakti craved the spirit. 

Once again when Siva left, Shakti mourned the lack of intimacy that they once shared. So, from her laughter, Shakti created a son and named him Ganesh. As the son of embodied movement, Ganesh was an amazing physical creature. In addition to giving Shakti companionship and love, Shakti gave Ganesh the charge of guarding the gates to her bedroom; under no circumstances was he to allow anyone to pass.  

As you may imagine, when Siva returned home, as per his habit, he marched straight toward Shakti's bed chamber and was met abruptly by this new creature, Ganesh. "None shall pass," said Ganesh (I'm thinking of Monty Python, here). Annoyed, Siva sent some of the members of his posse to go and take care of this little boy blocking the way. As the son of Shakti, Ganesh proved to be a powerful creature and probably looked like the young Vin Diesel of Hindu Gods as he cleaned house with Siva's brute force. As Ganesh was more than holding his own against his attackers, Siva started to get a little nervous.  He thought, "This won't look good if this little kid takes care of my posse. Even worse if he then schools me," Siva thought. So while Ganesh wasn't looking Siva threw his trident and beheaded Ganesh.  

Hearing all the commotion, Shakti came out of her room and saw her now dead son on the floor. She threw the stink-eye at Siva as if to say, "Fix this. NOW."  Siva, seeing that he was in hot water, told his right hand man to go and find him a head. Any head. He returned with a head-an elephant head. Siva said, "This will have to do." And with that, brought Ganesh back to life. This story taught Siva that even he needs to earn entrance into the gates of the sacred chamber, into the temple.  

The symbol of Ganesh helps to remind us of several aspects of our yoga practice as well as our practice of daily living. Many of the depictions of Ganesh show him sitting with one of his legs in the enlightened pose of lotus while his other foot rests comfortably on the ground. This teaches that while we are seeking spiritual progression, we must also keep our contact with the physical world. Even more than that, it shows that the path to spiritual expression is often through the magic and joy of the physical form. Our yoga practice is the perfect example: we move our bodies as a tool which points to the spirit. Every time I see someone roll down the road on their skateboard, I think of that soul experiencing a touch of enlightenment through the bliss of motion through time and space. Whether skating or performing asana, we allow ourselves the indulgence of the underlying form of mind and heart through the physical machinations of the body. Through the body, we give ourselves a tangible connection to spirit. 

The gateway to the body is the connection between ground and body: the pelvis and hips. This week, let's entice the sentinel, Ganesh, as we break off the rust of the gates to the temple of heart and mind and open our hips, stretch the legs, external rotators (outside of the buttocks) and the hip flexors (groins). We'll not only learn the steps to enter the gates toward the sacred chamber of heart and mind through the body, but also make the practice sweet and allow the entire journey to be a joy. My intention is to learn a little about the ancient myths of yoga while giving freedom and joy in our hips. We'll float out of class.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Freak Out First Aid

How do you respond when you get hit with something really heavy in life, and I’m not talking like a refrigerator or a Plymouth? When life really does a number on you, you get laid off, someone close to you dies or sick, you are breaking up with your love, what do you do? I usually freak out a little, sometimes a lot. And if we could somehow figure out how to harness all the energy caused by worrying, I’m sure I could power a good part of this city with my worry alone. “But Scott,” I hear you say, “surely YOU don’t get stressed or worry. After all you’re teaching other’s how to deal with those things.” To that I say, thank you very much for your confidence but that’s absurd. I can worry the best of them under the table.
And while I don’t have an immunity to worry, I do have a few tools through movement, yoga, and meditation that have really, really helped. Maybe they can help you, too.

Take a deep breath. Before the curse words come (or at least after the first really hearty one) give yourself a big breath. Sounds overly simplistic but it’s not. Yes it’s simple but it’s also very effective. If you can, breathe a few times deeply and if possible, give yourself a couple of sighs out your mouth. This technique will help relieve the surface tension off your cup which is almost ready to overflow into full melt-down mode. It will also help put blood to your brain to help you think clearly.
T   Talk to someone. I’ve been blessed with some wonderful friends in my life who have earned their calling on high after hours—days-- of listening to my plaintive worries about this and that. Sometimes, if only to hear yourself talk through your own thoughts and process, by talking it through you might come to some greater clarity about your worry. Good friends worth their salt might also remind you of your deeper nature, your capacity to overcome adversity, and give you a clear perspective because they know you. They can also call you on your own bullshit.

3.       Move your bod. Wallace Stevens wrote, “Sometimes the truth depends upon a walk around the lake.” Damn! That’s right on. Sometimes, I gotta just move my body, maybe run or get to a yoga class, breath in and out, stretch out tension from my muscles, put some blood flow into my brain and wow it’s incredible how much clarity I can get. Even if my problems don’t go away after a yoga class, I might be more clear-minded about them afterword. At very least, I don’t compound worry with feeling crappy in my body. Also, movement produces endorphins, the feel good that often will stop a downward spiral of negativity. When you know you’re in a bad space, go and buy the monthly unlimited pass and go every day. I’m serious. It will change your life.

4.       Meditate. Face the lion square in the face and take a minute to look at your worry objectively. As objectively as possible, and without judgment, notice everything about it, how it feels in your body, what it’s doing to your thoughts, where in your body you feel it. As you meditate regularly, especially when you’re not in the middle of a freak out but that works too, you become familiar with the part of you that doesn’t change when life’s events come and go. You can realize that events will come and go but your True fundamental self, your soul or spirit or consciousness, whatever, doesn’t change even when something crappy happens. Eventually you’ll start to see problems, even big and important ones, as transient against a backdrop of constant equanimity. Don’t get me wrong, this takes practice but it is real and very effective. At very least with a bit of objectivity, you’ll separate yourself from a myopic view of your problems and will hopefully be able to put them in to perspective.

5.       Action. Do something about it now, even if that is only to write down your worries or talk to a friend. Even if there is something small you can do, put something into action to feel empowered.

We all get hit with something in life. Hopefully we cultivate the tools to respond to those heavy parts when they hit. Maybe I’ll see you in class or on the trail, or be stopped at a light next to someone doing some therapeutic sighing. For those interested in meditation, even if your brand new to the idea, I’m hosting a Yoga Nidra course on Wednesday nights from 6:30-7:45 pm where I’ll lead you through a great meditation process. Talk to Prana Yoga for deets by calling 801-596-3325801-596-3325 or click here.