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Sunday, September 16, 2012
Learning to Be Lost
What should I do? Where should I go? I owe my heart to the current of change. Sometimes I feel like I’m stumbling through life like a blind man walking around a busy street, tripping off the bus, bumping, into the sidewalk, and piously and graciously, not without some self-deprecating humor, asking humbly for some kind soul to hold my arm and steer me to the other side of the river, over the bridge. Let me not be given the answer right away. Nor give me back my sight. At least not yet. Let me be blind, if only for a while, so that I may learn to feel my way, so that I may learn to know who I am and learn to trust that. Let me look to find my vision.
What do I need to see? Who am I? Sometimes I feel like life should be something different than it is. You ever think that? Sometimes I feel that the events should have happened differently and that somewhere I made a wrong turn, not because I’m in a bad place but because I’m somewhere different than where I thought I’d be. The truth is this is where I am. The events in life have happened as they have and here I am, right here typing these words. I guess the question is what am I going to do with what I have here? As I look around what I have is opportunity. Possibilities. How can I invite my resources and creativity to help me discover my way? In this landscape I see friends and family who love me. I’m grateful for that. I see great business partners at a business I love doing work that I love. I feel blessed.
So to find my way I close my eyes, like the blind man I suppose, and work on my inner-self first. I find myself on my yoga mat. I FIND myself on my yoga mat. My faith is trusting that everything else will grow out of that part of Self I discover there in yoga and meditation. Don’t force it. Just watch the windows and doors that open and walk through those that feel right. Back to what I’m supposed to do: learn how to feel. Learn how to trust that. Be lost. Ask directions. Ask permission. Risk a little. Keep my heart open and ask myself regularly how it feels. That’s what I should do.
See you on the mat.