Saturday, June 13, 2009

Holding Space

We don't need to change or be better than we are. We practice deep compassion as we extend this same privilege to other people and things around us and allow hem to simply be, especially those things that would easily turn our hearts bitter.

As we practice yoga and meditation, we cultivate and practice being. We also reduce the suffering knon as Dukkah, which would hold us back from experiencing our hightest self.

One act of holding space is allowing yourself to be wtih a person or thing and allow them to be just as they or it is. I'm thinking of a friend who is sick or experiencing something mentally or spriitually challenging. Simply being with that person and holding space for them, without the need to fix or change anything, just being, allows a deep compassion to exist between the two of you.

Another act of hodling space is the decisive act of making room in your heart for that which whould sooner cancer your heart with feelings and make your mind fester with "shoulds" and what-ifs." When you hold space for someone or something, you don't have to fall in love with this person or thing but you are simply offering compassion toward them or it by not becoming sour toward it. And by so doing, you ultimately offer your own heart and mind in the same compassion--the heart that flourishes when it feels abundance and love, not bitterness, and the mind that abounds when it is sheltered from shoulds and what-ifs."

Here are a few examples of holding space:

The NYC 4 Train: stopped en route causing me and my wife, Celeste, to miss our flight home.
Me: bought a NYC 4 Train T-Shirt--holding space for the 4 Train.

World: Just as it is.
Me: Accepting the world as it is.

Holding space is often the first part of forgiveness toward yourself and others.

This week, practice holding space for things that your either don't understand or which bother you.


Debra said...

Wow..........great comments Scott!! These words will come in handy when I feel my life spinning out of control, they are packed with so much meaning!

Sakile said...

I would be very interesting in learning more about Holding Space!

When and where is it? much!

Thanks Scott!


Jacalyn said...

I have to say, it constantly surprises me how relevant your letters feel to what I'm going through at the time I receive them. Thank you for the thoughts and caring to send these. :)

Anonymous said...

I really like this act of Holding Space. Recognizing the ability to just hold space allows such respect for all parties to truly exist and letting the natural progression take place with out force or control. I think we feel the need to always "take a position" and that we feel a certain amount of vulnerability with out coming into the situation with a prepared agenda and "take aways", as we say in business planning:) How much more natural could each arena of our lives flow with out the prepared agenda....simply having the confidence to HOLD SPACE.
Beautiful, Wonderful World,